Back in America

I'm back in Texas! I must say it doesn't seem as foreign to me as I thought it would. Granted so far I've only seen family and really haven't had much of an opportunity to share about my experiences in West Africa. I'm okay with that though, because selfishly I want to spread the welcoming greetings as long as possible... kind of like stretching out your birthday.

Because I've taken it easy and only seen family so far, my life in America seems pretty normal. That's not to say that I haven't had moments that make me realize I'm not in Africa anymore.

I ventured into Walmart today and found myself slowly strolling up and down the grocery isles. Some things made me smile, others stand in unbelief. I was after one thing and didn't dare buy anything extra. And got kind of nervous when I walked up to the registers, hoping I wouldn't accidentally walk up to one of the self check out lanes, 'cause I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to handle that. As I approached one of the speedy check out lanes in which someone was already waiting another employee coaxed me over to the very self check out lanes I was trying to avoid. I was forced to face my fears and did manage to make it out with my Dr Peppers.

Several cultural "impairments" happened before I'd even arrived in Texas. While sitting in the airport, an Asian man came and sat next to me with a completely lost look on his face. He turned to me and showed me his ticket and passport, telling me, "I no speak English.". I fought the urge to start speaking Pulaar to try to communicate and give him directions. When someone doesn't speak English, my first reaction is to switch to Pulaar. But clearly an Asian man is not going to speak it!

Only a few minutes later, I sat down at near my gate waiting for boarding. While peeling the banana I'd just bought, I almost turned to the woman sitting next to me and offered her a piece. I'm pretty sure I may have come close to holding the banana out to her before stopping myself and reminding myself that people in America don't share food with strangers sitting next to them in the airport... or outside of airports either for that matter.

I'm sure there's more cultural "impairments" to come. But I must say there's far fewer than I expected so far.

Road Blockades

What if roads in America looked like this? What would you do if you were driving along and saw this in front of you? I have to admit, the first time I came upon a road blockade, I was very grateful to have someone in the driver's seat who knew the language and was used to these types of things. A lot of things instantly entered my mind as the military officer was walking towards the vehicle...
Don't look at him the wrong way; what do I do if he asks me a question; what if he wants us to get out of the car; what if he separates us and starts questioning me?
All legitimate, right? Well, I've learned over time that the military is not out to ruin my day or strike terror in my heart. They are actually quite friendly, for the most part. In these situations it's best if you speak the local language, pretty much anything but French. One of two things will happen: 1. The officer does not speak the local language cannot understand what you're saying, in which case he'll try several other languages, usually Wolof, and after finding out where you came from and where you are going, he'll be tired of trying to communicate with this idiot white person who speaks neither French nor Wolof and will wave you to move on, or 2. The officer's face will light up because he does know the language you're speaking and then you've made a new friend who will stop you from then on everytime you pass through, because well, now you're his friend and he just wants to say hi. So either alternative, it's best to stick to the local language, stay calm, and answer the man's questions as simply and directly as possible. And keep your answers very general. He doesn't need to know what type of food or luggage you have in your backseat. You don't want to tempt him to go looking around. He might find something he wants to tax you for or tell you it's illegal to carry and confiscate it.

A mistake that is easy to make is not seeing the military officer and assuming that the post is abandoned, so you slowly dive through. This is not a good idea. Now granted, sometimes there's not anyone there, but you definitely need to make sure that you look intently for a man with a gun. If you pass him and he flags you down, it's good to know how to apologize in the local language... and maybe in French too. Something else I didn't know how to react to at first... the request by a military man for you to give a ride to one of his friends. When you don't know the culture or speak the language well, it's hard to read whether he is saying, "You will give my friend a ride, or else..." or if he's just asing you if you can. I've learned he is just asking if you can. So it's okay to say "no"...nicely.

So there's your crash coarse in road blockades, so the next time you come upon one, you'll know what to do.

To Laugh

Laughter is good for the soul, and it is definitely helpful when living in another culture. Learning to laugh at yourself and at your circumstances is essential to enjoying your time and not feeling defeated. Here's just a few things in my life here that make me laugh:

- My guard still to this day speaks to me in French as if today is the day I'm suddenly going to understand him when I didn't yesterday, or the day before, or ever.

- Yesterday I asked my househelper to taste something I was making, and it was only day 3 of Ramadan. I can't even go 3 days without forgetting that everyone around me is fasting.

- While we were driving back to town from the northern part of the country, my friend looked out the window and made the statement, "Wow, it's so pretty out here... oh look, a dead cow."

- Watching a duck waddle down the middle of the road, followed by her little yellow ducklings trying desperately, behinds wagging in the air, to keep up.

- Trying to teach a guy, a friend of mine, to say "iTouch" and hearing him repeat over and over again, even though the "ch" sound is in their alphabet, "iTouks".

The following may just make me smile rather than laugh, but they're worth noting:

- Whenever a child, not in the usual annoying obnoxious tone, but in an innocent curious way lets out a faint "tuubaako" (white person) when I'm passing by, half way hoping I'll hear but half way hoping I won't.

- A little girl I know was sitting next to me as we broke bread at their house for the first night of Ramadan. She picked up her bread and took a bite, then realized that my coffee and bread were still on the ground next to me. She set her bread down next to her, watching for me to make a move, and made sure that her little sister did not eat or drink either. When their mother came and asked why they weren't eating yet, she ever so straight-forwardly said she was waiting on me. ...I later noticed that as I was close to finishing my bread and she was not, rather large bites were going into her mouth to try to catch up.

The Lion Dance

As you've figured out, there's quite a difference in customs of West Africa and the United States. Some time ago, I heard a story that pertained moreso to Guinea Bissau south of us than it did here in Senegal. The story goes something like this:
There used to be a tribe of men who was both man and lion. If villagers sang a certain song and danced a certain dance, the lions would come into the village and attack it. The story has mostly died out, but there are some who still say that if you go out to where these tribesmen live and you sing this song, you can watch a man's hand begin to turn to that of a lion.
This is just one of the many tales that are told here. Some of them can be quite funny to hear. I was reminded of that tale when a few weeks ago, I was going to visit my former teacher, and as I rounded the corner children were all gathered together, watching in anticipation of something that was going to take place. When I got to their house, my house helper, who also lives there, tried to pull me into the compound. The children as well as the women in the area would run away from this certain man who was dressed quite oddly. She explained to me that they dress up as lions and dance. People can pay to sit and watch them. I agreed to go get 300 franc (about 50 cents) and come back in order to watch... with my camera. They did allow me to sit and take photos, although I did have some guys that wanted me to pay 1000 franc in order to take photos. Of course, knowing me, I refused to give into them and told them that the price had already been agreed upon. I got both some photos and video of them dancing. The photos are below. I tried to add the video but couldn't make it happen. Maybe another time.

Europe!

At the end of April and beginning of May, a friend and I were able to take a long-awaited and much needed vacation to Europe. I'd been planning it since the fall of last year. And the trip was everything we wished it would be and so much more!

We started our trip with a flight into Madrid. We then passed through Barcelona on our way to Montpellier, France. We then went to Marseille and Cannes, France. Then our travels took us to Italy via Monaco and the French Riviera, which was breathtakingly beautiful, even though only seen from in a train. In Italy we stayed in Genova, La Spezia, and Rome. While staying in La Spezia, we took 7 minute train rides out to the Cinque Terre, which include the little seafront villages of Riomaggiore, Manarola, Corniglia, Vernazza, and Monterosso. Once we made our way to Rome, which is where we flew out of to get back to Africa, we also took a day trip down to tour Pompeii and Naples. So all in all, we saw tons of sites, ate delicious food, met funny and interesting people, and enjoyed every bit of it.

Here's just a few photos of the trip. I had to narrow it down, but I have more posted on Facebook. Enjoy!

In front of the Colisseum

This is the symbol of Spain, on display in Puerta del Sol.

Our first morning in Montpellier. I'm standing in Place de la Comedie.

This is a huge church in Montpellier.
My friend is standing in front, to show the scale.

Inside the Reforme Church in Marseille.

Mmmm! French crepes! This one had banana on
the inside and chocolate fondu on the outside.

This is the symbol of Marseille. We're high above the city at
the Notre Dame church there, where you have views of the
whole city, including out to Chateau d'If in the Mediterranean.

Looking down on the city of Cannes.

One of the typical narrow streets in Genova, Italy.

Did I mention the food was amazing?!
I especially enjoyed all the Italian food.

This shows life in La Spezia. It's the family-oriented,
mom and pop owned restaurants, quaint town.

This was our view of Vernazza as we hiked the mountains
of the Cinque Terre. We hiked into town in time for lunch
and gelato and spent most of our afternoon there in town.

On the Spanish Steps on an evening in Rome.

We went to see the ballet at the Rome Opera House. Before
the performance began, we had a chance to take some photos.

The ruins of Pompeii with a view of
Mt. Vesuvius in the background.

In Piazza Plebiscito in Naples.

A Cell Phone or Feeding my Family

My houseworker said to me this morning, “Lend me money so I can buy a cell phone.” She has been wanting a phone, and this is not the first time she’s asked me to buy one for her or lend her the money for one. Granted, I already know her husband has a phone, so she does not actually need a phone. She just wants one. Now in telling you this story, it is not meant as an insult to her, but I feel this is a cultural thing and feel like informing you of it, as you’re not over here…

I suggested she set aside money and then in a few months she would have enough saved up to go buy herself the phone. Her first response, which is very typical here, was that she can’t save money because if seen with extra money, her kids, husband, family, or anyone will come asking to borrow it. And this is true. I immediately saw her point. Because in this culture if something is not being used, anyone has the right to come ask to use it. And if you have extra money, even if you’re saving it for something specific, the immediate needs of the other person take precedence over your future need, and you are inclined…expected… to lend them the money. And then you never know when or if you will see it again.

So I suggested that I would hold onto the money for her. Then her family wouldn’t see and therefore ask for the extra money she’s saving. Her response, like that of a child, … again this is a cultural thing, not meant as an insult to her… was, “But I want the phone now. I don’t want to have to wait a few months.” You have to also understand that this is not the first time I’ve leant her money when she needed it. But she’s usually telling me that her kids don’t have soap or clothes or something like that. And I don’t have a problem lending money if I know it will be repaid. I reminded her that if she borrows money now, and I take it out of her monthly earnings for the next several months, she will be tempted, particularly in August, to come asking me for more money. Ramadan is in August, and people are supposed to buy a ram to slaughter and are supposed to purchase new clothes for their family. So I reminded her that this is coming up.
I wanted her to think this decision through and be wise with the money she has. I told her I wanted to hear that, even if she buys this phone, her children will still have food to eat and soap for washing. I almost had to laugh at the innocence but ignorance of her response. She said her children will still have soap and food because before she had this job, God still provided. Though I know that’s true, I reminded her that it was God who gave her this job and that she can’t expect to spend her money on something she wants and go without basic needs being met, expecting that God will provide more than what He already is, that you can be foolish with what He has given you but expect Him to still give you more. I feel like what I was trying to explain about stewardship, simple as it was, was understood but not grasped. She understood what I was saying, but I could tell it the reasoning wasn’t registering with her. I left the decision to her and told her I’d have the money on Monday but that before giving it to her I want to hear from her, “If I buy this phone, my children will still have food to eat, clothes to wear, and soap with which to wash.” So we’ll see what her response is on Monday.

Now, I was raised by good American parents who taught me the value of saving money and the rewards that come from that. But in this culture, it is completely foreign to them. And they really aren’t even given the opportunity to set money aside, even if they wanted to start doing so, because someone will come to their door demanding that they lend it to them. And I hate that they can never understand working hard and saving for something that they really want and never see the satisfaction that comes from it. But I’ve said before and I say again… what is different in another culture is not necessarily bad, just different.

Giving: Don't Feel Guilty

When Americans think of Africans, they typically pity them for how little they have, and then accordingly feel guilty for how much we have and don't give. For those of you who know me well, you are probably aware of the fact that giving is not my strong suit. I definitely have the American mindset of working hard for what you get and benefiting from that because you earned it. I don't really like the idea of giving away what I worked hard to earn to someone who has not worked hard or even a little. I was conflicted about this upon arriving in this culture. This culture shares everything and helps each other do everything. And it's quite difficult for me to be asked almost on a daily basis to give someone money or my possessions. Now I don't refuse to give to someone in need, but I give only what I feel led to give and refuse to be guilted into more. And, like most Americans, when I give to someone who genuinely needs it, I feel great about it. Americans do give. They just usually give differently than in this culture. And I've known this, but yesterday I was thinking about it, and I realized something... There are two different types of giving, and this particular society I'm living in knows nothing about one of them. And I'd dare to say that Americans don't know much about the other kind. Now I don't have terminology for this, so just hear me out as I try to explain what occurred to me. Let's look at this from a religious perspective. The type of giving that I see here everyday is spoken about in the Bible, but it is not what God commands of us. It is the type of giving, living together in community if you will, that is written about in Acts. They shared everything. On the other hand, referring to the other kind, when we are told to give to those in need, there is the speculation that you will receive nothing in return for it, just satisfaction in knowing you helped someone and did what God told you. This is also true of Islam. They are to give alms to the poor, but as I looked about me, I realized that that's not happening here. The people in this culture give today so that tomorrow someone will have to give to them. It's almost like a guarantee, an investment, for a future benefit. It's the same reason that when a wedding takes place, all the women come to help cook the meal. They will tell you themselves that they don't want to help but they have to out of obligation because if they don't, no one will come help them cook for a wedding in their family. This is the "guilted into" type of giving that is never asked of us from God. My little rant for the moment: In comparison to most Americans, I don't have much. And I'm not going to be guilted into giving the little I have away to people who haven't earned it, won't appreciate or take care of it, and just want me to be socially and economically equal to them. When I give here, I am giving, not to reserve some favor for the future, but just to help someone that I may never see again. I realized, even though the Muslims here give so they can show everyone that they are giving as God wants them to give, in fact they're not. They're doing it as insurance for themselves and because their society expects it from them. Americans don't need to feel guilty because they're not giving every possession and every penny away. They do give. They give through organizations, churches, and typically hide it when helping out an individual they see in need. That's not something to feel guilty about. It's just another way cultures and societies are different. And different is not bad; it's just different. Give as God would have you give, nothing more, nothing less.